Misplaced Emotions

I didn't cry. I smiled. When i was bullied for being different. I didn't cry. I smiled. When i was teased for being fat. I didn't cry. I smiled. When nobody talked to me because i was weird. I didn't cry. I smiled. When in isolation and surrounded by hate. I didn't cry. I smiled. When the one whom i love wanted someone else. I didn't cry. I smiled. When i left all the people i care about behind. I didn't cry. I smiled. When it felt like the whole world was against me. I didn't cry. I smiled. Because to the world i was the boy who always smiled. Nobody knows the sorrows behind this glee. Nobody. Nobody but me.. ~A.F~

I've known her for over eight years. I guess she forgot me after four. It might have been easy for her to forget me. She was always good at making new friends. I suppose she met someone to replace me. Someone better. Making new friends was not something i was good at. Forgetting old ones proved even more difficult. As time passes, her memory of me also starts disappearing. Soon she will forget my name. Then slowly... my face. Eventually i would become a minute figment of her imagination, just waiting... waiting to die.... ~A.F~

When I saw her for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. She moved like an angel sent from heaven. In this world full of darkness and despair, she was my ray of hope. She was nice to me. Something that no one ever was. I enjoyed her presence. I felt that i could talk to her. But i didn't. I did not want the only light left in my life to be dragged into my world of darkness... She met someone. Someone better than me. Someone who made her smile. I saw her being taken away from me. The clouds of sorrow and despair coming back to engulf whatever part of me that she kept alive. I didn't want her to go. But I didn't stop her either. I saw the smile on her face when she was with him. That smile was worth it... ~A.F~

It's been four years... Four years of sadness and unhappiness. F our years.. since the ray of happiness in my life has vanished . Four years since i lost myself forever. But even today when i think of her, a smile forges on my face like a new sword from steel. Huge waves of sadness and desperation follow that smile.  I could've saved her. I could have interceded the disaster that  occurred . But i didn't. I would give anything to see that smile of hers again. Oh! her beautiful smile. I miss her... I miss her warm hugs and her strong love. A world without her is not worth living in.  The thought of her not being here rips the veins out of my body.  I feel a rope around my neck waiting to kill me. Now i know how she felt in her last moments.... ~A.F~